urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby blue_jeanbaby blue_jeanbaby 2007-03-29T18:17:01Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:52283 2007-03-29T18:17:01Z 2007-03-29T18:17:01Z regina spektor last nite was amazing. absolutely amazing.<br /><br />im really happy that i got to go with my sister. <br /><br />senior show is coming soon.<br />my show is even sooner. 3 weeks.<br /><br />i decided to only go home for half of spring break..i have too much work. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:52050 2006-12-14T06:20:02Z 2006-12-14T06:20:02Z this is harder then i imagined it would be.<br /><br />but i guess nothing is ever easy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:51572 2006-08-07T11:51:03Z 2006-08-07T11:51:03Z today &lt;33<br /><br />its our one year anniversary. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:51093 2006-03-25T00:43:29Z 2006-03-25T00:43:29Z so i hate being in this apartment all alone at nite. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:50752 2006-03-23T05:04:45Z 2006-03-23T05:04:45Z i havent updated in so long.<br /><br />so its kinda weird to think that in about a month and a half i will have completed my junior year of college and soon after will be graduating. i dont know its just nuts. this year went so fast, like so so fast. it really flew by. i think the only thing maybe i regret not doing in this apartment is drinking more...that sounds weird but i really dont drink anymore..and its kinda fun drinking in this apartment...or maybe just when we end up destroying things in it. either way i think i need to fit in a few more nites before i leave this place for good.<br /><br />i have to figure out living situations out for next year...im going to move into a different apartment..probably alumni so its going to be smaller, but a lot nicer and the plus side of having a washer/dryer in it. i dont know. i love the olde but i think i might be alone in that.<br /><br />i have so much work going on right now, but my prints are coming along and im really happy with the work ive been making lately. i really hope i dont start to slack off because i really want these next two pieces to get finished..and not just thrown together, like, completed how i want them to be. i dont think that makes sense but whatever. its just going to take a lot of time. <br /><br />i need to sign up for a summer class at Stony Brook. i figured it would be good to get one class out of the way so i can focus a little more on my senior project next year. its only 2 days a week..thats really not bad at all. i also have to go in and get the paper work all figured out so that i can actually work this summer. <br /><br />im coming home in april for about a week for easter break. im happy that i get to spend some more time off and hang out but im really bummed that justin is going to be away in california. i dont want him to know that though. its weird because hes going then and so is my family to visit my sister in san diego. we could all be going if i wasnt so crazy but i am and i dont know when im going to get over it so for now i wont be getting on a plane any time soon. but my family will be coming back sooner then justin, so i wont be so lonely at home. i hate sleeping at my house by myself. <br /><br />spring is here and that means soon enough i will be home for good. i cant wait. &lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:50624 2005-12-14T01:51:16Z 2005-12-14T01:51:16Z i just want to come home already. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:50404 2005-12-02T21:52:07Z 2005-12-02T21:52:07Z so im a little bummed out lately..<br />school is too much right now and these next 2 weeks cant go fast enough.<br />i was supposed to spend the day in the studio but instead i spent it on the couch...<br />i could go later tonite, i mean i probably wont but still.<br />i hate this. its just too much work.<br /><br />im feeling the distance so much right now and i dont like it. <br />i dont know why... i think im just being crazy.<br />i hope its just me being crazy.<br />ughh.<br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:50081 2005-11-08T23:53:53Z 2005-11-08T23:56:33Z im coming home this thursday night.<br /><br />justin has off of work on friday and im going to a play in the city with my parents on saturday so i might as well just come home..<br /><br />besides i dont want to be in this apartment all by myself all weekend. ill go crazy i know it. maggie will be working and melissa and erica will be home too.<br /><br />i like how i have to justify coming home to myself every time.<br /><br />id like to hang out with some people i havent seen in a long time. especially nicole. i havent seen or spoken to her in what feels like forever...maybe even summer time? im not so good at some things lately..i need to fix it. i miss a bunch of people a whole lot. <br /><br />schools good. too much work and too much procrastination but its still good. <br />the apartment is staying much cleaner then usual because of our chore sheet. this is very good. <br />and im in love with a wonderful boy. which is amazing.<br /><br />&lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:49463 2005-10-10T19:51:53Z 2005-10-10T19:51:53Z i just got back to school<br /><br />i want to be home still.<br /><br />justin got me a bike. its real nice..i cant wait to ride it to class. &lt;33<br /><br />i wish i could have hung out with everybody more this weekend. it didnt really work out how i wanted it to. its ok though. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:48654 2005-08-27T07:57:55Z 2005-08-27T07:57:55Z where has the summer gone.<br /><br />i need more time.<br /><br />longer days.<br /><br />and to not be leaving.<br /><br /><br /><br />i need to finish packing tomorrow. <br />i hate this part. <br />its always the worst.<br /><br /><br />xoxo urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:48168 2005-08-03T22:08:15Z 2005-08-03T22:08:55Z i like it.<br />nothing could be better.<br />summers should be never ending.<br /><br />xoxo urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:48102 2005-07-20T18:37:39Z 2005-07-20T18:37:39Z im happy.<br />its so good.<br />i dont want summer to end.<br />i dont want to leave.<br /><br />xo urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:47206 2005-05-13T07:47:27Z 2005-05-13T07:47:27Z ugh. i just vommed.<br /><br />i went downstairs in my underwear. told my mom and dad. and i got a "what did you drink tonite".<br /><br />first time in a long time its just my tum thats sick and not me doing something to make it sick. and i freaked out. im glad im home...i hate vomming in that toilet of ours at school.<br /><br />we have no medicine...i think im going to vom again...i just want sleep.<br /><br /><br />uughh. fix me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:47074 2005-05-12T00:01:00Z 2005-05-12T00:01:00Z schools out!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:46762 2005-05-06T14:42:32Z 2005-05-06T14:43:46Z so this past week has resulted in me freaking out everyday multiple times about the most random of things.<br /><br />i really feel crazy and i just want to be able to not think about anything and just be ok.<br />ive been ridiculous and i think i have managed to call my dad crying around 6 times a day.<br />its not even school at this point. i dont even know what it is. i just need to be able to function right for one day.<br /> <br />i dont know. <br /><br /><br /><br />anyways..we had a fire drill this morning and if it wasnt for that i probably wouldnt have gone to my class today for the final crit. <br /><br /><br /><br />there still is so much work to do and i need to pack up my room and get things together to move on wednesday. i need to clean out my locker and get rid of all my stuff i dont want in the va building.<br /><br /><br /><br />i have to find a second job for when i come home...ays called me annd i can start working for them whenever i want so i decided to take 1 week off before i start anything. i have some money from working up here so i know i will be fine...i just want a little break from things.<br /><br /><br /><br />i definitely havent talked to anybody from home besides my parents in a really long time. i think i need to.<br /><br /><br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:46339 2005-04-23T19:31:15Z 2005-04-23T19:32:36Z i cant wait for school to be finished.<br /><br />i feel like its the only thing i have to say lately..<br /><br />i mean im going to miss my buddies that wont be here because they are graduating, of course thats going to suck..but i just want the year to be over and for summer time to be here already. im looking forward to next year just because ill be living in an apartment and i feel like i wont be quite as stressed out as living in this room. <br />this room has made me feel crazy and i just need to come home already.<br /><br />the stress of school has gotten to be overwhelming and im handling by not doing anything pretty much. <br />i went to go do work but the print shop is closed..im really hoping it opens back up later on tonite. ive let things pile up so high and i have to take care of it and sit down and get it done..this weekend. <br /><br /><br />its weird because before i came here, doing good in school was never really on my agenda and now its this huge deal to me. but ive fallen into this rut and i just feel like ive been stuck for like a few months now and it really sucks because i dont know how to fix it. <br /><br /><br />rad simulation tomorrow..i dont even want to think about that. it definitly freaks me out.<br /><br />i watched the kids for eveer the other day..i feel like they arent very fun and i think that sounds mean because they are little kids but they kind of suck sometimes. they did have me wash rocks outside in a bucket of water..and i was just happy to be outside because they are little freaks that are attached to the tv and never let me take them outside.<br /><br />im going to do laundry today and clean just because ill feel like ive done something even though still, no work will be accomplished.<br /><br />ive fucked this semester up real good and im hoping in these last few weeks ill be able to pull through and at least pass my classes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:45635 2005-04-01T14:30:19Z 2005-04-01T14:30:19Z one month and a week.<br /><br />thank god. <br /><br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:45559 2005-03-18T05:24:00Z 2005-03-18T05:24:00Z its real fucking cool when people are shady assholes.<br /><br />its not even worth getting upset about actually. thats the sad part.<br /><br /><br /><br />boston tomorrow nite. <br /><br />so much work needs to get done before then. im so exhausted and tomorrow will only be worse...but a weekend spent with roe and katherine is well worth it.<br /><br />thenn home on sunday..and i get to see everybody. &lt;333 <br /><br />i need a break from school so so bad but i feel like this whole week is going to be spent doing school work thats due for when i come back. all i want is a few drunken nites and i will be satisfied. so if i dont happen to see some people or hang out as much as i would like..it will suck but its not really by choice.<br /><br />i meeaan i do come home for summer in just a little less then 2 months. <br /><br />ahhh thats amazing and is the only thing thats getting me through the rest of this year.<br /><br />oh ya and pie! this weeeeek.<br /><br /><br />&lt;333 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:44976 2005-03-09T00:07:24Z 2005-03-09T00:10:29Z tonites class got canceled..which is good cos i wasnt feeling like leaving here.<br /><br />i got in a big fight the other nite and decided i cant talk to anthony for awhile..we'll see how long that lasts..<br /><br />and then i spent 5 hours talking to someone i hadnt spoken to in 3 years. kinda weird..<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i need to get my shit done im falling behind in my work.<br />i have so much to do i just need to get myself up to go to the printshop to do it.<br /><br /><br />tonite im going to read my book annd then watch the notebook with maggie. that movie is so good.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />p.s. i miss you.<br /><br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:44485 2005-02-25T19:23:32Z 2005-02-25T19:23:32Z 15 Years Ago, I:<br /><br />1. was in kindergarden<br />2. bobby was my boyfriend<br />3. he gave me a wedding ring..i still have it.<br />4. went to dance lessons<br />5. was best friends with amanda<br /><br /><br />10 Years Ago, I: <br /><br />1. was nine<br />2. i got glasses<br />3. i had a crush on dale goldman <br />4. spent every weekend at amandas house staying up all night watching movies my mom wouldnt let me watch.<br />5. went to girl scouts.<br /><br /><br />5 Years Ago, I: <br /><br />1. was in 9th grade<br />2. me and courtney were friends <br />3. we would drink rum and whiskey in her attic after school and smoke ciggarettes on her roof<br />4. met matt and jen trapasso.<br />5. matt was my first kiss<br /><br /><br />3 Years Ago, I: <br /><br />1. lived away from home for the first time for a month<br />2. had an amazing summer spent at brockport with rosemary and jen.<br />3. went pool hopping for the first time<br />4. was working at franks with matt<br />5. fridays were spent at marios and was the "mo show"<br /><br /><br />2 Years Ago, I: <br /><br />1. had such bittersweet year<br />2. i was attached to the hip with rosemary manny and kristen<br />3. mario died.<br />4. parties at nicoles were a constant<br />5. met christina and frankie.<br /><br />1 Year Ago, I: <br /><br />1. was a freshman in college<br />2. was more depressed then i ever had been in my life and missed a whole lot of people<br />3. spent my winter in rosemarys house with a bottle of wine each nite<br />4. started caterring and working at the gap<br />5. met the girls and boys at college who i love and will keep. <br /><br />This Year, I: <br /><br />1. got happier with things<br />2. spent winter in nicoles house with a bottle of wine each nite<br />3. miss less people<br />4. grew even closer with my family and friends if thats possible<br />5. feel more on my own then ever<br /><br /><br />Yesterday, I: <br /><br />1. drove to work<br />2. took pictures with the kid and he fell asleep on me<br />3. went to the art store and bought paint <br />4. went to work at nite and got out an hour early and got paid double time and an extra hour...yeah that was nice<br />5. painted a picture for todays class and went to bed early<br /><br /><br />Today, I: <br /><br />1. went to class<br />2. got out early<br />3. am waiting for people to come eat and getting impatient<br />4. just ate<br />5. am talking to christina guns<br /><br />5 people/persons that I like to be around: in no particular order <br /><br />1. my family<br />2. rosemary, steph<br />3. christina, maggie<br />4. nicole, kristen<br />5. manny, melissa<br /><br />5 TV Shows I Like: <br /><br />1. the ashlee simpson show<br />2. family guy<br />3. sex and the city<br />4. jessica simpson show<br />5. wow i suck<br /><br /><br />5 Places I've Lived: <br /><br />1. patchogue, ny<br />2. brockport, ny<br />3. farside -purchase<br />4. big haus -purchase<br />5. outback -purchase urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:44076 2005-02-21T13:45:28Z 2005-02-21T13:45:28Z fuuuck this.<br /><br /><br />i hate this place more then ever today.<br /><br /><br />its still snowing...its covered in snow...yet..we still have class.<br /><br /><br />not only do we not get off for presidents day like most NORMAL places do....but we also dont get snow days. <br /><br />im still sick. i dont wanna go out in the snow.<br /><br /><br />this is just me complaining.<br /><br /><br />fuckkk this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:43294 2005-02-13T18:04:33Z 2005-02-13T18:04:33Z shes figured out that all her doubts were someone elses point of view. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:43112 2005-02-12T23:50:17Z 2005-02-12T23:50:17Z this place is killing me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:42794 2005-02-09T18:00:05Z 2005-02-09T18:00:05Z hey its nice out.<br /><br /><br />so im trying to get all my work done so i can come home this weekend.<br /><br />i hope i can....i wanna play. <br /><br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blue_jeanbaby:42432 2005-02-04T20:25:50Z 2005-02-04T20:53:54Z <b> ive come to realize i do not do nearly as much as i can with the time i have and i need to change this. </b><br /><br />in class we watched a video on this artist. <br />she was so so old and spoke french..it was basically just her talking about her art and her parents art. she was so endearing. i want to be not only accomplished but also still have a great outlook on things and have amazing people around me when im that age. <br /><br /><br />i have anxiety about this class but today wasnt so bad. ive been putting off going/ showing my work.<br />for the first time i showed some past work of mine today and i liked the response i got from it. my teacher liked my direction and the process. it made me less nervous about the classes to follow. i feel like im going to get some amazing work out of it and i just hope that i dont slack off too much.<br /><br /><br /><br />this boy who has been in one of my painting classes is also in this class with me and somehow got on the topic of work and his parents. <br />they live in africa and do volunteer work and every december and june he goes and works in ethiopia setting up stoves and water routes and other things. its amazing to me what people do and how you would never ever know it by looking at them. this boy goes and helps ethiopians and i cant even manage to get out of bed for class everyday. i dont know it just makes you think about things i guess.<br />..i skipped class to go get some lunch today. i meeean.. i didnt reealllly need to go.. but still.<br /><br /><br />im going to get some more wood today so i can work on my woodcut project this weekend..annd go to the mall with maggie. <br /><br />i still need new sneakers.<br /><br />&lt;3<br /><br /><br />p.s. ranch sunflower seeds make me miss home.